Author Archives: Single Girl in the suburbs

About Single Girl in the suburbs

I am a thirty something single gal who is single, loves to travel, take photos and go out and make the most of the world.

5 things which would be easier if I wasn’t single

Not sure how all you singletons feel all the time about doing everything on your own. I certainly am quite independent and confident but I was thinking yesterday about the following things that would just be easier if there was more than one of you. 

So I believe the following would be easier if you were in a relationship:

  1. Going to events
  2. Sharing bills
  3. Sharing chores
  4. Hang time
  5. Life admin

So let me explain them..

Going to events

I do not mind going to parties and events on my own, however sometimes going to an event where it is full of couples or families and then little old me turns up on my own and looks like billy no mates – isn’t fun. My other bug bare is that you always have to drive and never get the option to drink at one of these do’s, which would clearly make things better sometimes! Haha! Obviously I could be that annoying spare part who could stay over at people’s but that’s just annoying and ruins everyone’s weekends! 

Sharing bills

When you have to be an adult and it is socially unacceptable to live at the rents, you have to either rent or buy a place. I brought my first property at 26 & admittedly my parents were very helpful in the beginning but you know I think they always thought I might meet someone who might eventually share my bills. Instead I had to work hard in my career to pay those pesky bills. I’d like to buy more designer handbags each year though and not have to think – pay back new kitchen or buy something nice for me. Plus paying a mortgage of over £900 a month is a lot for one person. 

Sharing chores

I know there is only one of me but regardless of how many people in a household, you still have to clean the same space and do all the same chores. Having to clean, cut the grass, take the bins out, cook every night (ok I don’t stay in every night but that’s not the point!) dust, Hoover, food shop (so boring when you are gluten free) etc etc.. It would just be nice not too have to work all week and have to do all this sometimes too.

Hang time

I like my own company, I sound really boring but staying in sometimes, cooking dinner and watching tele or a movie is nice. I also like going shopping on my own etc, but sometimes, just sometimes I’d like to hang with someone and not have to call on a friend or make an effort and just have someone at home to chill with. 

Life admin

OMG does anyone like life admin? Seriously I have enough admin at work to do let alone have to work out what remortgage I am going for, whether Henry the cat should have annual injections or cat insurance, book tickets for the cinema, pay bills, work out what home, car, life etc insurance is best. The list goes on! This week I have had to look for the best deal on car tyres and brakes. It’s a chore and yes my dad is taking my car to have these things done, but I still had to price compare garages as he doesn’t see this as a priority and would just go where his mate tells him is good regardless of the price. To me this is surely a boy job & if there was two of you  – this wouldn’t have to be done by me. Although a friend of mine had car issues this week and her husband was away and she had to deal with a bit of the issue, but no doubt her husband will do the rest when he is back. Not jealous at all – I’d have to fix the whole issue! It’s just annoying! Haha

Anyway these are my bug bares and yes I do realise boys who are single have to do everything too, lots of relationships aren’t more simple as one person will do more than the other and gay couples – have to still do boy or girl jobs anyway! What are your bug bares about being single? 

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Boomerang

So it’s happened again – guys from the past getting in touch because they are redic. 

Let me tell you my latest story and you are welcome to refer back to Randoms get back in touch as the same guy has got in touch again. 

Basically he was on tinder – so I swiped right just to see if he would too. He had. I messaged eventually “hey stranger, how are you?” He deleted his profile! Random! So I went into Facebook and did a little digging – looks like he might be seeing someone! Idiot! A week later, surprise surprise he pops up on tinder again with the message in his profile of: If we match again, I’ll message you, sorry! Clearly for me! I’m intrigued to find out what he is up to. We match! What a surprise! He messages his favourite Christmas movies (standing joke about Christmas movies) and I reply obviously telling him he is wrong. So I ask if he is single! Apparently he is. So I ask him why Facebook looks like he isn’t? He says he was seeing someone, not anymore, blah blah blah! It’s totally recent or he fucked up or something! By this point I’m just honest and tell him it’s odd! What do I have to lose! 

Anyway… 

After more messaging, He says fancy a drink? I’m like meh! Might as well… Wrongly or rightly – I’m nosey and want to find out what has happened and a night out might be fun! Haha! 

Drink day! I get a message saying he is terribly Sick with a cold and can’t make it! Clearly a lucky escape for me! 

That evening he is texting and tells me he is moving up north! Random – why meet for a drink but hey! He is also telling me I’m amazing, wish we were on a date and getting a bit flirty and pervy! Whatever it’s all funny to me. 

The next day – he is out with his mates by lunchtime! Clearly he wasn’t I’ll and decided nothing was going to happen on our supposed date. He starts basically saying to come over, i’m amazing in bed, amazing body, blah blah blah! Clearly I am far too sensible and say no, but a drink one night is still cool! 

The following week he is still being flirty and pretty much sexting! Still telling me I’m amazing etc. Then I mention the drink again and funnily he then tells me we want different things, he wants some fun before he goes up north and basically wants a shag! Makes out I’m desperate for a child and he can’t possibly have another one! Anyway I basically told him it wasn’t going to happen, he realised he fucked up and I told him – thanks for the blog post! Haha

The moral of the story is: leave it in the past! If it didn’t work out the first or second time – let’s not go for the third, forth or fifth go! Boys don’t change and there is a reason it never worked out originally anyway! Yes we do want different things! 

Stay tuned for the next instalment of “mister won’t leave it alone” in about a years times! 😂

Life of an awesome Auntie

I felt the need to blog today as I am a pretty amazing auntie, but this week it’s been totally random due to my Neices and Nephew and my fake Neices and Nephews. 

I have 2 real Neices and 1 nephew, 10,6 & 3 – my mum calls them the wild bunch and the description is far off what they are. They are pretty fab and as you might have read previously a nightmare too! Haha My best friends have children too (8 in total) one of best friends had a daughter when we were 20. She is now 17! How am I supposed to say I am 28 when she is now 17, it’s so depressing! If she gets married or has a child before me she is out of the will! Not that I have one, but that’s not the point. She did say the other day I could be her bridesmaid though! Plus with some of the other fake nephews hitting 15 – I really do need to get a move on! I need to make more dating effort I’m sure. 

This week started with one of my other best friends having a baby boy (#newcrewmember) which is pretty special and I can’t wait to meet him, then on Sunday the best friend with the 17 year old took us on a road trip to see a university! Seriously this is way too grown up! She is looking into doing forensic investigations – what a brilliant subject – on the open day we looked at finger prints – which was cool! I’m so thinking she can be like Dexter, but without being a serial killer obviously. Her brother who is 14 told me, he never realised how short I was. Brilliant – I’m so not that short! 

Tonight after working 12 hours I looked after the wild bunch, helped with maths homework (totally beyond me) and pretended I was alseep on the floor of the 3 year olds room to get him to go to sleep, all whilst pretending I was “live” tweeting from an event in Vegas. I then helped my sister with applying for secondary schools for my niece (those applications are so confusing!) and I sent my final email at 10.30 about an event in San Diego and need to send my final “live” event tweet before I fall asleep. In between all this today I have sorted out a new mortgage and spoke to the docs about a referral for B12 issues. 

The moral of the blog is – love your life, work hard, have fun, enjoy random moments and try and stop these children for growing up too quickly. 

Dates in 2017: 0 

Weight loss: 1 stone

Night all! 

2017 so far! 

I can only apologise for the lack of posts recently – I just haven’t had the omph to write one (although I have written one in my head a hundred times! )- plus I think this year has been a omph lacking year so far but let me tell you why! 

This year 5 people I am close to have lost parents and I’m not great with death and upset unfortunately and it just makes me freak out about my own parents, to whom I am very close to! firstly my best friend from uni’s dad died after a battle with cancer. I love my friend and her family and they have been through so much it’s heartbreaking to watch and when you want to support your friend it will effect you. Then my uncle died from a freak accident – he lived in northern Cyprus and to not be able to say goodbye or see your family at this time again takes its toll. However most recently another best friend lost her mum in not very nice circumstance and she really shouldn’t have gone so young. When you have a very similar relationship with your own mum, it literally upset me more than I could deem possible. My saving grace is I have both my parents – unfortunately my friend now has none. She also has battled with being single for years and yes now is in a nice relationship  but when you have been single for so long before, you worry about being alone again and you also get more upset that your parents won’t see you build this future with them included. Well this is how I would feel. I worry so much about it just being me – I rely on my parents so much for just being there regardless of how much I might have friends around or family. This is why I worry about my friends so much! I don’t want them to feel alone and I want them to know I am there for them.

Anyway to continue my 2017 story – a week after that death, another friend lost her mum and most recently a childhood friend lost her dad. It’s totally mental and I do know my parents are fit and healthy and seem much younger than they are, but it doesn’t stop me from being in this stupa this year. It doesn’t help that vitamins aren’t staying in my body (a side story to B12 deficiency) and I’m tired all the time or I feel the majority of my friends are the most self centred people  ever this year (obviously not including the people who have gone through this heart ache!) I get everyone has a life but seriously I give up trying sometimes. Maybe they feel I am self centre too or shouldn’t have to rely on them for company at this age who knows! 

So this brings me on to dating and why my lack of dating or even bothering to talk to anyone this year! I just don’t have the omph or the tolerance or have become so bloody old I give up for a bit! The thing is with dating you have to be at your best because it’s so hard. It takes a lot out of you, it’s exhausting and emotionally fucks up your head sometimes. A guy started an argument with me yesterday online because I didn’t reply to him and when he pushed it – I just said I think we are looking for different things to which he then just threw abuse  at me ! He clearly got blocked and anyone else I was talking to was looked at in a different light and not really spoken to again. I swear I attract fuckwits. 

So the rest of the year I can only hope gets better, I don’t dwell on the past and everyone starts to heal! Oh and I get some energy in me and vitamins somehow start to stick! 😬 Autumn is better for dates anyway! Haha 

Long term relationship verses always being single! 

I wonder; is it worse (and that’s probably a bad word to use but anyway) to have been single on and off and be over 35, than to have been in a relationship for a long time and not to have got married and had kids? 

I’m talking to a guy who has been in two long term relationships and not been married and not had children yet! He is 40 and been in one relationship of 10 years and one of 9! Now you can probably pass the first one as – Young, through the school/uni era – in your 20’s etc, but the second one he would have been in his 30’s,  established etc, how could:

  • A) he not have proposed before 9 years (is this why they ended?!)
  • B) how could you in that time not even perhaps had a mistake and fallen pregnant! (Obviously they could have – I don’t know that)
  • C) I wonder if he actually wants to get married or have children in this case – far too early to be that nosey though 

I know a few guys like this – I have a cousin who has just come back from oz where he lived with his girlfriend for over 10 years and then got to 40 and decided she wasn’t for him! 10 years – that is one long arse time to have not have made future plans together and to have not have had a family or any long term commitment! 

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not one to wait years and years for a relationship to go to the next stage! Perhaps because I’m now over 35, who knows, but I think because I’m impatient I wouldn’t wait 10 years to get pregnant – well I couldn’t now anyway – I’d be a super granny mum! I wonder if guys know this – like they now can’t wait 10 years for a relationship to go to the next stage… They must do I’m sure! 

Anyway so thinking about it – with all the pressure single people get about well frankly being single and questions like; why haven’t you met anyone yet and people telling  you that you should get a move on, find the one, try harder and basically every friend and relative thinking you are some weirdo because you haven’t been with anyone for longer than a minute in your whole adult life – it made me think: People who have been in long term relationships must have all this stigma too, like:

  • Oh there must be something wrong with xxxx as that last girl he was with didn’t work out
  • Why did xxxx not have children yet
  • For years they must have people just saying – why hasn’t xxxx not got married or when are they getting married! 

You can’t win really. If you got married quickly – you would be judged. If you got pregnant before marriage – you could be judge, if you stay with someone too long and not move to the next level – people judge, if you don’t find one you like and don’t put up with not perfect – you are judged, you can’t win. And at over 35 you’ll never have the perfect route to societies perfect idealised relationship – so thank goodness for age on our sides and doing it our way! 

One more week left of wheat testing 

All I can say is this experiment set by the doctor has not been fun at all! Yes the bread tastes good but going to the toilet at least 4 times a day isn’t nor is having to work for home more so I can eat wheat is making me more tired.

Biggest negatives to eating wheat:

  • Feeling mega fat all the time
  • Putting on weight – wheat regardless of going to the loo just makes me fatter! Obviously the yummy biscuits haven’t done this
  • The pains in the stomach
  • The weird dreams (might not be related but who knows)
  • Having to let down people if you feel crap
  • Feeling bloated and clothes looking shite
  • Feeling sick
  • Rushing to the loo
  • Always needing to know where the loo is

Anyway 1 week left, then it’s detox time! I’ve got this new book called The G Plan! It’s all about giving your gut a rest and building gut health! Saying goodbye to bloating and getting renewed energy! Obviously I’m having tests and they are looking into my B12 deficiency more but I think I need to help myself too! If this means 21 days of being uber healthy then that’s what I need to try! My body right now feels horrendous! Plus the numb hands, pins and needles everywhere and being exhausted all the time can not continue! The ladies who write this book also do retreats which would be amazing to do, but that might need to be saved for! Plus a holiday in heat will I’m sure help anyway! 

Anyway 7 days to go and then life restored and we’ll see what’s what! 

Week one done of wheat testing

So definitely still wheat/gluten intolerant then! I was quite excited at the beginning that I would get to eat all this food I had missed out on for years and literally that thought was thrown out of the door after day one! 

Bad points of wheat/gluten eating

  • Feeling utterly unhealthy
  • Having the worse tummy pains ever! Easter Sunday was spent on my hands and knees bent over a hot water bottle
  • Going to the toilet for a number 2 at least 4 times a day and if there is a moment I don’t go, my stomach looks like I am 6 months pregnant! 
  • Still feeling exhausted 24/7 – I went to the office one day last week and by 2pm I was literally exhausted! My eyes were so heavy! I can’t cope
  • Having to be at home a lot because you can’t make major plains encase you need the loo! 
  • White bread I can’t cope with, so living on rye,spelt and wheat bread or granary – I just can’t deal with the pain! I Have normal biscuits with coffee and crisps might have an element of wheat but apart from that I can’t do wheat noodles or Macci d’s – it’s hurts my body way too much! 

Good points

  • Fresh Bread tastes amazing 
  • The cost of items is so cheap
  • Cheese twists

So just under 3 more weeks to get through and then I think a detox of no wheat/ no carbs is needed! I google wellbeing breaks 24/7!  Still not sure how doing this test will help determine why my B12 doesn’t work anymore as I haven’t eaten gluten/wheat for over 10 years! I get the doctor wanting to check this and I’m grateful, but I think he needs to think more about the symptoms of B12 than my overall randomness with food and IBS