Author Archives: Single Girl in the suburbs

About Single Girl in the suburbs

I am a thirty something single gal who is single, loves to travel, take photos and go out and make the most of the world.

Damn you Mr potential

You know when you click with someone online, you think – yep you tick a box: 

  • You are quite funny,
  • Have good banter, 
  • Live in the area,
  • Know people I know,
  • Grew up like I did,
  • Good values, 
  • Seem like you might be fit,
  • Aren’t a hermit,
  • Might have your own life – hobbies, friends blah blah blah 

Then…. it all goes wrong or quiet.. 

it’s so frustrating when this happens and you haven’t even met the person. So the story goes.. 

I matched with a guy on tinder (standard, no one takes it seriously) You start chatting and asking questions. You realise the person grew up in the same village as you, went to the same schools as you, knows people you do – you chat about life, loves, travel, history etc. And have some chemistry. This goes on for a few days. You then swap numbers because he wanted to mainly. You chat over text a lot that day. Then you send a last text and then silence.

You leave it and think maybe he’s busy, then still nothing. You see somewhere you have spoken about – text to say and nothing. Now at this point I should really know the score and I do, but it’s so irritating. Obviously I do not text him again! Why would I – why would anyone make a fool out of yourself – everyone knows the score – that’s the wonderful world of ghosting and online dating. However… 

Because it really annoys me and because I am a nice person and probably to prove a point and to show I am a nice person I text.. 

Just “Hey – you obviously changed your mind about matching (he unmatched me in the meantime on Twitter) hope you find what you are looking for. Lxx

Hahaha he replied… 

apparently his circumstances have changed somewhat!!! Seriously – he clearly was either talking to someone or was rekindling with someone and keeping his options open. 

Anyway I just replied with “hope everything works out for you”! Why am I so nice – I obviously don’t think this… I think he is a douche and what a waste of a week of messaging! 

Funny he then replied with “sorry I’m not a douche bag hence making the decision” well clearly you are mate – you didn’t have the balls to text me! I didn’t reply. I deleted the texts, deleted his number and will clearly go back on tinder. I’m sure there is a better one out there for my 38th year! 


Reflection of 2017

Happy new year – ok I’m a little late with this blog, but I started writing it before the end of 2017 and I’d like to say that I have been so busy that I haven’t finished it, but I just didn’t have any umph to complete it unfortunately. Life, flu thing, box sets etc just got in the way… Anyway… 

Lessons learnt in 2017 were: 

Family are everything

I learnt big lessons in 2017 especially as one of my best friends mum died. It hit me that parents and family aren’t around forever and even if my family can be a pain sometimes – I love them to pieces. Plus when the chips are down and you need a cheer up, they were always there even if the day ended in a disaster or an argument! 😂 Cherish your family people – they are a pain because they are like you but I’d like to think they will be there always.

Friends have their own lives

I think I have realised this one more and more as I have got older and friends all ended up married, attached or having children – as a single person you have to like your own company. You also have to get up, get out and have fun. This does not make me happier or make me like the fact my closest bestie is apparently moving to Spain this year. It’s a rediculous idea and she shouldn’t be able to leave the country without my say so. With all this said I look forward to some great adventures with my friends this year. 

Don’t ever let a cat out

This one will haunt me for ages.. My poor little Henry cat who was 2, wandered too far one day in Novemeber and got run over. No one stopped, but thankfully some kind person saw it happen and took him to the vet. For a while he seemed ok but within a few hours he unfortunately just couldn’t survive. I know it sounds sad, but my cat was my little home buddy – he was always there and was a GREAT listener.. Yes yes this is one of my saddest moments of 2017! I won’t be getting another one very soon and maybe a puppy is the way forward. If I get one, it will be coming everywhere with me! 

Be thankful for what you have

I like anyone can be upset about why does so and so have this or why does so and so get married, have the big well paid job, how do I get a 5 bed house? A posh car blah blah blah. Seriously I think we should all look at our life’s sometimes and be thankful for what we have. I might not have children, but I can lie in whenever I want to. I might not get paid more than everyone,but I get paid way more than some people and I can work from home whenever I want or 24/7 if I want to. I might not have a Range Rover, but I get a new car every 3 years and I might not have a 5 bed house, but I own a 2 bed one, in the Home Counties which is pretty amazing and I love it. I am thankful for everything I have, everything I can do and everyone around me. Plus it is ok to be jealous sometimes and then kick yourself and remember what you have isn’t too shoddy.

Love what you do and like who you work with

Last year whilst looking for other jobs (as sometimes you have to see what is out there) I realised that I work in that big office, have a flexible job, my boss was ok and he did try to progress me, my coworkers are nice – some of them I would count as friends and some are annoying obviously, my pay is more than ok and working for a company for 5 years is fine. Plus I have challenged myself and had several roles there, to know what I am talking about. I love the world of marketing, I actually quite like software too, but most of all I love working with my colleagues. I am excited to see how my new responsibility of looking after the DACH region will progress, what fun events and hotels we will visit this year and how I will get better at Social Marketing and get more results. You spend most of your time at work – love what you do or find one you love.. 

Love thy neighbour

My neighbours are 10-15 years younger than me – I know they are pretty much children as I’m only 28! Haha 😁 Anyway we have a great relationship and have keys to each other’s houses for emergencies, for the cats (obviously that is one sided now) or just for when I can’t remember if I have left a window open or if they need to borrow my hose! When Henry got knocked over, I text my neighbour and she came to the vets with me. She was also going to come to the vet hospital with me and I know she would have helped Henry recover as much as me. She stood with Henry when he died, as I couldn’t and then she brought me a ginger plant to remember him by. So sweet. We both cried way too much for my little Henry but it was so nice that she was there. However my boy neighbour did nearly let himself in once when I had a boy to stay! Thankfully he didn’t come in at the last moment. Haha.. Could have been slightly awks..

Exercise is good for the soul

I have a love hate relationship with the gym like most people. I do feel better after I have been, but in winter it’s especially hard to get up and go. I have moved gyms though and this one seems cool, bigger and less people willing to talk to you. I can’t stand random people talking to me at 6am when I am tired, haven’t had a coffee and am on a cross trainer because I need to lose weight. A polite smile is all that is required and then leave me to my really loud music. The exercise I would recommend to all is: Combat – lots of punching is good for the soul, Jumpfit at your local trampolining park – it is the most fun you are ever going to have doing exercise and you burn like 1000 calories and lastly Pilates or a stretch class – it helps you feel normal and not have any aches and pains. I love a good stretch ☺️

Don’t feel guilty too much or set high expectations for yourself 

I feel guilty all the time. I’m sure that’s a surprise to most people who know me, but I set major high expectations for myself in work and home life. I feel guilty about being a good friend, daughter, sister, auntie, godmother, colleague – everything. I sometimes think this is why I am single or have been left behind. I have always tried to be the person who is there for others. I’ll be there on someone’s birthday to make sure they aren’t on there own, I will go to every child’s birthday party, I will be some ones wingman to make sure they meet someone etc etc. I thought about this last year and actually decided to be more selfish and less guilty. People won’t love you any less if you can’t make a child’s party or you have plans and they plan their birthday that weekend. Plus others don’t do this for you, so just get on with life and shit happens. Although I think I might still need to work on this one a little more or just educate everyone to be more like me. 

Treat yourself once in a while

This one maybe is a bit odd. I do buy stuff all the time for my house and myself, but I think I need to buy big nice purchases more often if I can afford them. I missed out on a Mulberry handbag on sale because I felt guilty about buying it when I had the money there which I had worked hard for.  I still haven’t brought  one or gone to Bicester to get one on sale, but there is still time and it’s only January. Plus I have plans for the puppy, holidays and that handbag and will do eventually.

Hope everyone is having a good January. I am back on dating sites and promise to make more effort this year. Who knows 2018 could be the year for meeting a boy or could give more fun blog stories. 

5 things which would be easier if I wasn’t single

Not sure how all you singletons feel all the time about doing everything on your own. I certainly am quite independent and confident but I was thinking yesterday about the following things that would just be easier if there was more than one of you. 

So I believe the following would be easier if you were in a relationship:

  1. Going to events
  2. Sharing bills
  3. Sharing chores
  4. Hang time
  5. Life admin

So let me explain them..

Going to events

I do not mind going to parties and events on my own, however sometimes going to an event where it is full of couples or families and then little old me turns up on my own and looks like billy no mates – isn’t fun. My other bug bare is that you always have to drive and never get the option to drink at one of these do’s, which would clearly make things better sometimes! Haha! Obviously I could be that annoying spare part who could stay over at people’s but that’s just annoying and ruins everyone’s weekends! 

Sharing bills

When you have to be an adult and it is socially unacceptable to live at the rents, you have to either rent or buy a place. I brought my first property at 26 & admittedly my parents were very helpful in the beginning but you know I think they always thought I might meet someone who might eventually share my bills. Instead I had to work hard in my career to pay those pesky bills. I’d like to buy more designer handbags each year though and not have to think – pay back new kitchen or buy something nice for me. Plus paying a mortgage of over £900 a month is a lot for one person. 

Sharing chores

I know there is only one of me but regardless of how many people in a household, you still have to clean the same space and do all the same chores. Having to clean, cut the grass, take the bins out, cook every night (ok I don’t stay in every night but that’s not the point!) dust, Hoover, food shop (so boring when you are gluten free) etc etc.. It would just be nice not too have to work all week and have to do all this sometimes too.

Hang time

I like my own company, I sound really boring but staying in sometimes, cooking dinner and watching tele or a movie is nice. I also like going shopping on my own etc, but sometimes, just sometimes I’d like to hang with someone and not have to call on a friend or make an effort and just have someone at home to chill with. 

Life admin

OMG does anyone like life admin? Seriously I have enough admin at work to do let alone have to work out what remortgage I am going for, whether Henry the cat should have annual injections or cat insurance, book tickets for the cinema, pay bills, work out what home, car, life etc insurance is best. The list goes on! This week I have had to look for the best deal on car tyres and brakes. It’s a chore and yes my dad is taking my car to have these things done, but I still had to price compare garages as he doesn’t see this as a priority and would just go where his mate tells him is good regardless of the price. To me this is surely a boy job & if there was two of you  – this wouldn’t have to be done by me. Although a friend of mine had car issues this week and her husband was away and she had to deal with a bit of the issue, but no doubt her husband will do the rest when he is back. Not jealous at all – I’d have to fix the whole issue! It’s just annoying! Haha

Anyway these are my bug bares and yes I do realise boys who are single have to do everything too, lots of relationships aren’t more simple as one person will do more than the other and gay couples – have to still do boy or girl jobs anyway! What are your bug bares about being single? 


So it’s happened again – guys from the past getting in touch because they are redic. 

Let me tell you my latest story and you are welcome to refer back to Randoms get back in touch as the same guy has got in touch again. 

Basically he was on tinder – so I swiped right just to see if he would too. He had. I messaged eventually “hey stranger, how are you?” He deleted his profile! Random! So I went into Facebook and did a little digging – looks like he might be seeing someone! Idiot! A week later, surprise surprise he pops up on tinder again with the message in his profile of: If we match again, I’ll message you, sorry! Clearly for me! I’m intrigued to find out what he is up to. We match! What a surprise! He messages his favourite Christmas movies (standing joke about Christmas movies) and I reply obviously telling him he is wrong. So I ask if he is single! Apparently he is. So I ask him why Facebook looks like he isn’t? He says he was seeing someone, not anymore, blah blah blah! It’s totally recent or he fucked up or something! By this point I’m just honest and tell him it’s odd! What do I have to lose! 


After more messaging, He says fancy a drink? I’m like meh! Might as well… Wrongly or rightly – I’m nosey and want to find out what has happened and a night out might be fun! Haha! 

Drink day! I get a message saying he is terribly Sick with a cold and can’t make it! Clearly a lucky escape for me! 

That evening he is texting and tells me he is moving up north! Random – why meet for a drink but hey! He is also telling me I’m amazing, wish we were on a date and getting a bit flirty and pervy! Whatever it’s all funny to me. 

The next day – he is out with his mates by lunchtime! Clearly he wasn’t I’ll and decided nothing was going to happen on our supposed date. He starts basically saying to come over, i’m amazing in bed, amazing body, blah blah blah! Clearly I am far too sensible and say no, but a drink one night is still cool! 

The following week he is still being flirty and pretty much sexting! Still telling me I’m amazing etc. Then I mention the drink again and funnily he then tells me we want different things, he wants some fun before he goes up north and basically wants a shag! Makes out I’m desperate for a child and he can’t possibly have another one! Anyway I basically told him it wasn’t going to happen, he realised he fucked up and I told him – thanks for the blog post! Haha

The moral of the story is: leave it in the past! If it didn’t work out the first or second time – let’s not go for the third, forth or fifth go! Boys don’t change and there is a reason it never worked out originally anyway! Yes we do want different things! 

Stay tuned for the next instalment of “mister won’t leave it alone” in about a years times! 😂

Life of an awesome Auntie

I felt the need to blog today as I am a pretty amazing auntie, but this week it’s been totally random due to my Neices and Nephew and my fake Neices and Nephews. 

I have 2 real Neices and 1 nephew, 10,6 & 3 – my mum calls them the wild bunch and the description is far off what they are. They are pretty fab and as you might have read previously a nightmare too! Haha My best friends have children too (8 in total) one of best friends had a daughter when we were 20. She is now 17! How am I supposed to say I am 28 when she is now 17, it’s so depressing! If she gets married or has a child before me she is out of the will! Not that I have one, but that’s not the point. She did say the other day I could be her bridesmaid though! Plus with some of the other fake nephews hitting 15 – I really do need to get a move on! I need to make more dating effort I’m sure. 

This week started with one of my other best friends having a baby boy (#newcrewmember) which is pretty special and I can’t wait to meet him, then on Sunday the best friend with the 17 year old took us on a road trip to see a university! Seriously this is way too grown up! She is looking into doing forensic investigations – what a brilliant subject – on the open day we looked at finger prints – which was cool! I’m so thinking she can be like Dexter, but without being a serial killer obviously. Her brother who is 14 told me, he never realised how short I was. Brilliant – I’m so not that short! 

Tonight after working 12 hours I looked after the wild bunch, helped with maths homework (totally beyond me) and pretended I was alseep on the floor of the 3 year olds room to get him to go to sleep, all whilst pretending I was “live” tweeting from an event in Vegas. I then helped my sister with applying for secondary schools for my niece (those applications are so confusing!) and I sent my final email at 10.30 about an event in San Diego and need to send my final “live” event tweet before I fall asleep. In between all this today I have sorted out a new mortgage and spoke to the docs about a referral for B12 issues. 

The moral of the blog is – love your life, work hard, have fun, enjoy random moments and try and stop these children for growing up too quickly. 

Dates in 2017: 0 

Weight loss: 1 stone

Night all! 

2017 so far! 

I can only apologise for the lack of posts recently – I just haven’t had the omph to write one (although I have written one in my head a hundred times! )- plus I think this year has been a omph lacking year so far but let me tell you why! 

This year 5 people I am close to have lost parents and I’m not great with death and upset unfortunately and it just makes me freak out about my own parents, to whom I am very close to! firstly my best friend from uni’s dad died after a battle with cancer. I love my friend and her family and they have been through so much it’s heartbreaking to watch and when you want to support your friend it will effect you. Then my uncle died from a freak accident – he lived in northern Cyprus and to not be able to say goodbye or see your family at this time again takes its toll. However most recently another best friend lost her mum in not very nice circumstance and she really shouldn’t have gone so young. When you have a very similar relationship with your own mum, it literally upset me more than I could deem possible. My saving grace is I have both my parents – unfortunately my friend now has none. She also has battled with being single for years and yes now is in a nice relationship  but when you have been single for so long before, you worry about being alone again and you also get more upset that your parents won’t see you build this future with them included. Well this is how I would feel. I worry so much about it just being me – I rely on my parents so much for just being there regardless of how much I might have friends around or family. This is why I worry about my friends so much! I don’t want them to feel alone and I want them to know I am there for them.

Anyway to continue my 2017 story – a week after that death, another friend lost her mum and most recently a childhood friend lost her dad. It’s totally mental and I do know my parents are fit and healthy and seem much younger than they are, but it doesn’t stop me from being in this stupa this year. It doesn’t help that vitamins aren’t staying in my body (a side story to B12 deficiency) and I’m tired all the time or I feel the majority of my friends are the most self centred people  ever this year (obviously not including the people who have gone through this heart ache!) I get everyone has a life but seriously I give up trying sometimes. Maybe they feel I am self centre too or shouldn’t have to rely on them for company at this age who knows! 

So this brings me on to dating and why my lack of dating or even bothering to talk to anyone this year! I just don’t have the omph or the tolerance or have become so bloody old I give up for a bit! The thing is with dating you have to be at your best because it’s so hard. It takes a lot out of you, it’s exhausting and emotionally fucks up your head sometimes. A guy started an argument with me yesterday online because I didn’t reply to him and when he pushed it – I just said I think we are looking for different things to which he then just threw abuse  at me ! He clearly got blocked and anyone else I was talking to was looked at in a different light and not really spoken to again. I swear I attract fuckwits. 

So the rest of the year I can only hope gets better, I don’t dwell on the past and everyone starts to heal! Oh and I get some energy in me and vitamins somehow start to stick! 😬 Autumn is better for dates anyway! Haha 

Long term relationship verses always being single! 

I wonder; is it worse (and that’s probably a bad word to use but anyway) to have been single on and off and be over 35, than to have been in a relationship for a long time and not to have got married and had kids? 

I’m talking to a guy who has been in two long term relationships and not been married and not had children yet! He is 40 and been in one relationship of 10 years and one of 9! Now you can probably pass the first one as – Young, through the school/uni era – in your 20’s etc, but the second one he would have been in his 30’s,  established etc, how could:

  • A) he not have proposed before 9 years (is this why they ended?!)
  • B) how could you in that time not even perhaps had a mistake and fallen pregnant! (Obviously they could have – I don’t know that)
  • C) I wonder if he actually wants to get married or have children in this case – far too early to be that nosey though 

I know a few guys like this – I have a cousin who has just come back from oz where he lived with his girlfriend for over 10 years and then got to 40 and decided she wasn’t for him! 10 years – that is one long arse time to have not have made future plans together and to have not have had a family or any long term commitment! 

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not one to wait years and years for a relationship to go to the next stage! Perhaps because I’m now over 35, who knows, but I think because I’m impatient I wouldn’t wait 10 years to get pregnant – well I couldn’t now anyway – I’d be a super granny mum! I wonder if guys know this – like they now can’t wait 10 years for a relationship to go to the next stage… They must do I’m sure! 

Anyway so thinking about it – with all the pressure single people get about well frankly being single and questions like; why haven’t you met anyone yet and people telling  you that you should get a move on, find the one, try harder and basically every friend and relative thinking you are some weirdo because you haven’t been with anyone for longer than a minute in your whole adult life – it made me think: People who have been in long term relationships must have all this stigma too, like:

  • Oh there must be something wrong with xxxx as that last girl he was with didn’t work out
  • Why did xxxx not have children yet
  • For years they must have people just saying – why hasn’t xxxx not got married or when are they getting married! 

You can’t win really. If you got married quickly – you would be judged. If you got pregnant before marriage – you could be judge, if you stay with someone too long and not move to the next level – people judge, if you don’t find one you like and don’t put up with not perfect – you are judged, you can’t win. And at over 35 you’ll never have the perfect route to societies perfect idealised relationship – so thank goodness for age on our sides and doing it our way!