Tag Archives: online dating

Boys Opening messages – really? What’s wrong with hello!ย 

I get it it’s hard to start the ball rolling in any conversation but if you were in a pub and was talking to a girl would you start with: “I have really long foreskin – how do you feel about it?” If this situation happened – a) I’d hope I was very drunk and so was he and b) this so wouldn’t happen in a pub! So why does a guy online feel this is an appropriate opener!? Then he gets funny because I’m the most honest person in the world and I ask him (very politely) if he says this to all the girls and does he think this is appropriate! Anyway he blocked me! He also blocked me cause he insisted I got “kik” to message on! Urrmm I thought the whole point of online was that you had a platform to talk on before you gave out numbers! Why would I need kik as well! Clearly hiding something or he was embarrassed of being online! Anyway I don’t want kik! 

Another guy messaged me to ask if I missed sex! Very kind of him to think about me but no need! He did do the hi how are you first but then asked me who I lived with! Weird! I’m 37 – I’d like to think most people (if they don’t live in London or perhaps if they have baggage) would live on their own by now or maybe I just want to go out with some one who does! 

Another guy didn’t quite tell me this on an opening message but in a few exchanges after that his mum has cancer and she is dying! Wow why would you tell a stranger that! Is that not a bit too early! And far from romantic! 

Clearly I am attracting the wrong guys or guys in my area are so weird it’s rediculous! It is funny though because there is always the bondage guy who pops up and looks at your profile! He is looking for a new lady who he can dominate! Funny he doesn’t actually show a picture of himself encase “work colleagues” see! hmmm I think it’s just because he is a Middle Aged fat bold guy who you really wouldn’t want to go near! Random! 

Anyway back to it – who knows a nice one might come along or that random meet down the supermarket aisle is surely on the cards! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Happy Friday

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Random dating peopleย 

In the past few weeks I think I have spoken to a lot of randoms! I felt I needed to document them as just to prove to the world I do try and meet guys but every random messages me! 

In no particular order: 

  • The guy who messaged with “Hey You’re a cutie!” I’m not being funny but I’m 37 on Friday! I’m far from being a 5 year old who is a cutie!
  • The same guy went on to make sexual comments and basically telling me we lived so close – he’ll get a bottle of wine and come over! Urmmm I haven’t met you on a date and we just said hello pretty much! He then blocked me! Weird
  • Another guy today asked me how much money I earned! I replied that I wasn’t sure if that was a question you should ask and he replied with “yeah it is – I earn xxx a year!. How much do you earn because I think I don’t earn enough!” So I earn double what he does and clearly I didn’t tell him but diplomatically pointed out it depends on industries etc! How is that an appropriate question to ask? 
  • Then there was the guy who message me at 10.15am Saturday morning with “hey” or something like that! Then at 10.36am he messaged “aren’t you a chatter” Then he blocked me! Seriously I went out for the day and was busy – I didn’t realise my whole aim for Saturday was to message a random back! 
  • Then there is just all the random messages like “You’re astonishingly good looking” (seriously) “Your beautiful, I could fall in love with your face” (Really?) Or “Wow your gorgeous!” I get they want to make a first impression but seriously how is that an opening line – a boring hello, how are you would be better in my book! 

So anyway with the amazing chat up line and guys lined up – my 37th birthday will definitely be one where I am single and happy about it if that’s all that is available! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Why do the randoms get back in touch?

Not sure if this happens to everyone but this always happens to me and I know it’s happened to a friend of mine before too! If you have been off and on online dating for a while you always see the guys you might have been on a date with in the past or you have spoken to in the past! Standard as everyone has the same goal but why do boys find the need to have to get in touch with you again after months or even years? 

The thing is I would never go oh let’s talk to so and so because we went on a date previously, it didn’t work out but we must try again! I just don’t see the need – there was obviously a reason it didn’t work previously! However boys are different – randomly out of the blue I either get random texts on whatsapp or I will see a guy I have been on a date with on a site and look at their profile (I’m nosey) and then 5 minutes later I always get a message from that person! 

On one occasion I went on a date with one guy I had been on a date with 6 months before – we then saw each other for a but but seriously there was no need! So why do I end up replying to these guys and getting into the situation where I have to either go on a date with someone I don’t want to or having to have that awkward convo of sacking them off! Why don’t I just leave well alone! My new tactic is not really to be too interested and hope they get bored! The ones you want to get in touch never do which is irritating! 

Anyway if anyone knows why guys see the need to get in touch randomly – please let me know! If a girl did it – I swear guys would think they are needy or obsessed or something! Datings a funny old world! 

Happy V Day! 

What does your name say about you!ย 

When you meet a guy on line – you might not know there name as they have come up its the most rediculous username which gives no clue at all! Don’t get me wrong women are the same – I’ve had many random names over the years and not many have ever just been lisa! 

But when these prospects or potentials reveal their names I sometimes judge way too much! Funny because before they reveal their name I think they are potential and then after I can totally be turned off by the idea of continuing to talk to them! I know this sounds bad but let me explain…

So a name like Pete or Ben are pretty solid names right – nothing offensive! But something like Robin – you think of someone a bit woosy! Haha or Dave you think of as a bit common but David is perfectly acceptable! James is again a perfectly acceptable name but what do you think if Martin? – perhaps a bit dull or a bit of a bore! Omg online dating makes you think way too much! If you were in a work meeting or out out and a guy called Martin introduced themselves and he was the coolest guy ever – you so wouldn’t think about this! Like if you met a Wayne is real life & he was a posh boy, would you automatically go oh but he must be a wide boy as well!? To be fair I know a Wayne and he is totally not a wide boy! 

I’m sure guys must think the same, like if you met an Alison or a Sally they must think they are just nice girls – lisa is probably a nice girl name too, but something like Roxanne is a cool name and surely she is cool! 

Anyway I’ve come to the conclusion I need to be more open minded,  a name isn’t who someone is, but it still doesn’t stop me judging straight away on that person! Maybe this is why my cat has a posh name (Henry), as I didn’t want anyone judging me/him if I called he biscuit! Stupid cat name! Haha sorry sis! X

The back up plan

As my 37th birthday draws nearer so does my 38th – I’m sure you are thinking, what? Nothing like wishing your life away, but let me explain! 

When I was in my early 30’s and started this whole on-line dating journey, had dated for a while and realised it might not be simple – I started to think about whether or not children were important in my life! My sister has three now and I love them to pieces and as much as I am not the baby machine she is and definitely not the maternal person she is (she is a nanny by trade!) I came to the conclusion I’d like one! Just one as then I’m hoping it won’t bicker so much and to be fair with three real cousins and everyone else in my world pretty much having at least one child too – they should be fine! Also I want to know what it’s like to be pregnant and to obviously pass on some of me to future generations! Haha! To be fair my sisters children all have traits of me anyway – so that bit might already be covered! The thought of giving birth upsets me a lot though! 

Anyway a few years ago my friends who are gay were talking about there plans and what they will do when they are ready! They educated me into that you actually don’t need a guy to have a baby, you can actually buy sperm and basically choose your unborn babies dad and he wouldn’t have any stake on the child and you could do this by yourself if need be! It’s all very confusing when you look online – however it isn’t too expensive for one go! Clearly I have told my mum the plan and told her a loan or a payment for a grandchild might be required! ๐Ÿ˜€ Everyone’s up for it! 

Another back up would be to freeze my eggs for a few years until that guy comes along I suppose! My mum is currently away seeing my auntie and my cousin and apparently my cousin has frozen her eggs and my mum now thinks this is what I should do! My cousin has offered to explain all about it and give me advice on it! I’d just like to say my cousin is 4 years older than me and lives in LA – so a completely different country to me, so not sure this is completely helpful! Plus she should have just had a baby by now as she was married, but apparently her age for a child is 45! She has a new boyfriend – I wonder how she broached the subject with him to say she had her back up plan sorted?!

This is another thing how do you tell a guy you eventually meet that you froze your eggs – won’t that freaked them out as much as just telling them you are on a time limit and need to have a child now! It’s funny I presume boys don’t have back up plans for having children and just except that if they don’t have one – they don’t get one! Who knows! 

My other plan was to in my 40’s to maybe adopt a child – age range 0-5 – then it gets over the having to push out a child thing when you have IBS! I just can’t imagine it being normal! I can’t even deal with periods! Another thing – if I am to have a child next year – should I come off the pill I have been on for 15 years because I couldn’t cope with periods and IBS – can I put myself through that for a what if and do I need to do that just yet? Another thing to figure out! After a few conversations this week with friends about this – they have all said my body probably needs a break anyway and with all the gyne issues I had last year it could help! Again can you imagine if I met a guy this year and he asks are you on the pill and you say no because I wanted to give my body a break to be ready to have a baby next year! Well that’s one way of getting rid of them! Haha! 

So my conclusion is it doesn’t have to be next year – if I want one I will know but my friends get married in South Africa early 2018 and we’ll get through that first and then see! As for coming off the pill – I have 1 week left of a packet and need to decide asap if I want to stay in or come off! 

Sod being a woman! Why could I have met someone in my 20’s and got married, had a career, travelled, had fun and had a child! Oh well clearly wasn’t my path! 

The child thing

Being in my mid thirties you get to the point of thinking do I want a child and do I need to hurry up to have one? I do have a back up plan but online dating puts you under so much pressure and unfortunately in my story I have missed out on so many potentials! 

So I don’t start conversations with OMG I want a child and can you give me one (clearly not I don’t ever message anyone first!) but you do have on your profile normally that you want children! Men are more open I think about this and put open/not decided but I always put want children! Anyway at my age I sometimes end up talking to guys who have children already (I suppose it’s to be expected) and on several occasions you can be getting on really well and they will then say – oh I notice you want children – I have one (or two) and I don’t want anymore! Now seriously in my opinion (and it is my opinion) what woman doesn’t want the option at my age to maybe perhaps have a child! You might not think you want one but if you fell preggo, you would probably think twice about keeping it mainly because you are female, you have a woman’s maternal instinct and it’s the norm in life to have a child and because at this age you might not get another chance if you don’t take this one! 

Therefore I find men who have their own child quite selfish if they really think that you – the girl without a child would be happy to not have the option of having their own child, but is happy that you have children! I think you are kidding yourself! Would it not be better for those guys to go for either older ladies or women who already perhaps have had a child!? 

Now if you are a guy and you doesn’t have children and you have decided you don’t want a child – then fair enough – you would be in equal grounds! I obviously still wouldn’t go out with you because as I say I want the option! But I am sure there are females who have made the decision not to have children as well because they want a fun carefree life and because we all know (including my friends & family) children can be little pains in the arse if they want to be! 

So to the guy I have been speaking to this weekend who just told me he doesn’t want anymore kids – thanks for being up front and shame! At least it’s better than the guy I dated last year who dumped me because I wanted a child and then kept texting me all year telling me he liked me, but his views hadn’t changed on the kid front! Then why bother message mate! Clearly that didn’t work out and he so wasn’t my type anyway! What was I thinking! 

Can you meet a guy organically over 30?

I had a meeting yesterday at work and when I say meeting, it’s set in the Starbucks in my office and its with a cohort of ladies where we should discuss things like challenges in the workplace, how we can progress and become better leaders and basically how women can progress! As this is just a casual coffee meet up we end up speaking about life and as it was the first one after Christmas, so we obviously spoke about what we got up to in the holidays! 

I arrived a bit late as shock horror I was actually working (I’d like to add I worked late to fit in my meeting too) and when I arrived I was asked how my holidays were! Standard answer busy – my sister has 3 kids so it is always fun and hectic! And then I was like I’ve started blogging more! They ask what I blog about and I mention; being single, dating, lifestyle etc! Hilarious the responses from my colleagues were: “Are you online dating, do you need to online date and can’t you just go down the pub and meet someone!” For anyone who is single and a little older and doesn’t go out on the pull every Saturday night will know – no you can’t just go down the pub and meet someone! It’s difficult and there are actually certain towns around where I live where older people do go out, there are single people out on a Saturday night in some pubs, however at over 30 do we care about pulling on a Saturday night or are we out that night with friends and our main goal is to have a laugh with those friends rather than to scout the pub for someone who might look ok and might catch your eye!

When I go out on a Saturday night drinking and dancing – I’m either out for a birthday or because We are due an overdue catch up with the girls! So our main goals are to usually get drunk (classy) and have a laugh with the group! If I was to be looking out for fit guys all night it wouldn’t be my idea of a fun night! (To be fair this has always probably been my issue even when I was younger!) Obviously you might end up speaking to guys when you become more confident or perhaps someone offers you a free drink whilst at the bar but very rarely it will turn in to anything or in my experience that’s the guys who are married or attached! So no it isn’t that simple to meet a guy organically and this is why we all probably treat online dating a little bit like shopping! 

Another point my colleagues found funny was that it is like shopping and yes online dating can make you more picky than you probably would have been in your younger days out on the town. Also yes you can pick someone who is more ideal and have things in common with you more than you would have when shopping organically but is it easier, are we more successful at picking a designer guy! Hell no – that’s the wonderful world of online dating! It’s just a different way of meeting a mate! 

Anyway I left my colleagues with the task of finding me a boy and making my mum’s wish come true this year of finding someone who will love me by the end of the year! Don’t even get me started!!! Haha Lets see how easy they find it! ๐Ÿ˜‚