Tag Archives: lifestyle

Life of an awesome Auntie

I felt the need to blog today as I am a pretty amazing auntie, but this week it’s been totally random due to my Neices and Nephew and my fake Neices and Nephews. 

I have 2 real Neices and 1 nephew, 10,6 & 3 – my mum calls them the wild bunch and the description is far off what they are. They are pretty fab and as you might have read previously a nightmare too! Haha My best friends have children too (8 in total) one of best friends had a daughter when we were 20. She is now 17! How am I supposed to say I am 28 when she is now 17, it’s so depressing! If she gets married or has a child before me she is out of the will! Not that I have one, but that’s not the point. She did say the other day I could be her bridesmaid though! Plus with some of the other fake nephews hitting 15 – I really do need to get a move on! I need to make more dating effort I’m sure. 

This week started with one of my other best friends having a baby boy (#newcrewmember) which is pretty special and I can’t wait to meet him, then on Sunday the best friend with the 17 year old took us on a road trip to see a university! Seriously this is way too grown up! She is looking into doing forensic investigations – what a brilliant subject – on the open day we looked at finger prints – which was cool! I’m so thinking she can be like Dexter, but without being a serial killer obviously. Her brother who is 14 told me, he never realised how short I was. Brilliant – I’m so not that short! 

Tonight after working 12 hours I looked after the wild bunch, helped with maths homework (totally beyond me) and pretended I was alseep on the floor of the 3 year olds room to get him to go to sleep, all whilst pretending I was “live” tweeting from an event in Vegas. I then helped my sister with applying for secondary schools for my niece (those applications are so confusing!) and I sent my final email at 10.30 about an event in San Diego and need to send my final “live” event tweet before I fall asleep. In between all this today I have sorted out a new mortgage and spoke to the docs about a referral for B12 issues. 

The moral of the blog is – love your life, work hard, have fun, enjoy random moments and try and stop these children for growing up too quickly. 

Dates in 2017: 0 

Weight loss: 1 stone

Night all! 

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Long term relationship verses always being single! 

I wonder; is it worse (and that’s probably a bad word to use but anyway) to have been single on and off and be over 35, than to have been in a relationship for a long time and not to have got married and had kids? 

I’m talking to a guy who has been in two long term relationships and not been married and not had children yet! He is 40 and been in one relationship of 10 years and one of 9! Now you can probably pass the first one as – Young, through the school/uni era – in your 20’s etc, but the second one he would have been in his 30’s,  established etc, how could:

  • A) he not have proposed before 9 years (is this why they ended?!)
  • B) how could you in that time not even perhaps had a mistake and fallen pregnant! (Obviously they could have – I don’t know that)
  • C) I wonder if he actually wants to get married or have children in this case – far too early to be that nosey though 

I know a few guys like this – I have a cousin who has just come back from oz where he lived with his girlfriend for over 10 years and then got to 40 and decided she wasn’t for him! 10 years – that is one long arse time to have not have made future plans together and to have not have had a family or any long term commitment! 

Maybe it’s just me, but I’m not one to wait years and years for a relationship to go to the next stage! Perhaps because I’m now over 35, who knows, but I think because I’m impatient I wouldn’t wait 10 years to get pregnant – well I couldn’t now anyway – I’d be a super granny mum! I wonder if guys know this – like they now can’t wait 10 years for a relationship to go to the next stage… They must do I’m sure! 

Anyway so thinking about it – with all the pressure single people get about well frankly being single and questions like; why haven’t you met anyone yet and people telling  you that you should get a move on, find the one, try harder and basically every friend and relative thinking you are some weirdo because you haven’t been with anyone for longer than a minute in your whole adult life – it made me think: People who have been in long term relationships must have all this stigma too, like:

  • Oh there must be something wrong with xxxx as that last girl he was with didn’t work out
  • Why did xxxx not have children yet
  • For years they must have people just saying – why hasn’t xxxx not got married or when are they getting married! 

You can’t win really. If you got married quickly – you would be judged. If you got pregnant before marriage – you could be judge, if you stay with someone too long and not move to the next level – people judge, if you don’t find one you like and don’t put up with not perfect – you are judged, you can’t win. And at over 35 you’ll never have the perfect route to societies perfect idealised relationship – so thank goodness for age on our sides and doing it our way! 

Have I been coeliac all along? 

I have been wheat, gluten and soy intolerant for about 15years or tried to be as in the beginning it wasn’t easy! I’ve had a b12 deficiency for about 18 years but recently my injection hasn’t been working! I have all the symptoms all the time! I’m lucky if I stay up passed 9pm and my face continuously has pins and needles! So I finally spoke to a doctor about it yesterday and I have to eat wheat for the next 4 weeks to be tested for coeliacs. To be tested you have to basically have wheat in you body! Plus I can’t remember if this was ever tested originally so totally worth it. 

So after thinking this would be cool and I can eat all the exciting foods I never eat like a proper Chinese, McDonald’s, fresh amazing bread and proper pizza – I then freaked out it would hurt, I’d be sat on the loo a lot and basically have no life for a month! I went to morrisons and brought some supplies as my house is obviously full of non gluten food! I got fresh bread but got rye, spelt and wheat fresh bread not bite bread. I brought some shortbread, spring rolls and I had monster munch earlier too! I’ve eaten the bread so far and now have a painful tummy – so that’s fun! I think the next month might be spent at home, defo no dates, only time spent with people who really know me and working from home might be the norm! As the tiredness isn’t cured either yet – my bed and I will defo be best mates! 

Anyway I thought I would blog about how I get on and see what ends up being decided on IBS, B12 and being coeliac! I’ll still do online dating but I think it might be a case of if I can go on a date more than anything – although my track record this year has been shite so who really cares! Haha! 

If you do have fab wheat food that I must eat – please share though! 

Who doesn’t love to win?

In recent months I got a new Fitbit (I’ve had one for a few years, but now have an all singing all dancing one!) and have hooked up on Facebook, email and friendsof friends to motivate myself to do more steps and basically not just sit all day when I work from home or at the weekend. It’s working but I want to win challenges more. 

If you don’t have a Fitbit you are probably thinking “what challenges?” Well let me explain! Firstly on your Fitbit – you have your own personal goals but there is this whole other bit where you can challenge your contacts to see who does the most steps in a day, a weekend or a working week! Again sounds simple right – well no! My contacts must literally step every single waking moment! In a working week they are at like 140000 steps! Weekend challenges can be mental at like 60000 steps and I swear they must be just cheating somehow! 

So I wake up pretty early regards of what day it is, going downstairs, feed Henry cat, open the back door and make coffee! Then come upstairs, shower, blow dry & straighten my hair, put make up on and then find outfit for the day! In this time I never used to wear my Fitbit! STUPID as you can do 1000 steps before work by wearing the Fitbit! Who knew! Some might ask why I don’t wear it 24/7 as it tracks sleep, but my arms/hands go numb at the best of times (B12 deficiency) the Fitbit does not help this at night at all. With all these challenges I clearly clock up these steps now.

Another thing I do is before going to bed I have to make sure I have made my official goal a day (5000) and my unofficial goal (normally around 10000) Therefore I step on the spot before bed,or dance around my house! I can be exhausted and have the decision of steps and challenges or go to bed! Bed wins a lot to be fair! 

This weekend I invited new Fitbit friends to do a day Fitbit challenge (daily showdown) and then my friend invited me to do a weekend warrior (2 day challenge) I went to legoland yesterday so totally thought it would be easy to win! NOPE – everyone just wants to win! Everyone ends up moving more! It is really good at making you move! But the good news is I did win yesterday – whoop! My feet hurt so much from walking all day but I still danced around the house to the Take That thing last night on the tele and today I still need to rock the steps to keep going in the weekend warrior! My friend has cancelled our walk this morning so I now need to motivate myself to go for a walk or the gym and then do some food shopping (you step quite a lot down those aisles) and as its a beaut of a day again the garden could get a quick look stupid or failing that it’s too sunny – my sun lounger has my name written all over it! 

Anyway the morale of the blog is get a step tracker it makes you move more! 

January’s done 

Like everyone I had such high hopes for January but at the same time was skint for the first month of the year! Christmas is a killer when the world and his wife has children and you buy for everyone! Every year I say to myself I’m only buying children and every year I feel too guilty to do it – why I’m not sure – it’s not like you get double the presents or anything! Oh well maybe this year.. To be fair half the fun of Christmas is the buying of gifts. 

So in January I started the month with plans of loosing a stone, going to the gym more, going out on loads of dates or at least making way more of an effort and being in a happy place (strong mind etc!)

Well I lost nothing! I ate way healthier than I have forever and I lost bloody nothing! Clearly living on spinach doesn’t work anymore! The fat club me and my friends started didn’t happen – well it did but then they couldn’t be bothered or wouldn’t reply to texts or just basically didn’t get the concept, so there isn’t any point anymore! So that goal failed although someone at TRX I haven’t seen in a while said I lost loads of weight today and to be fair as she said she has nothing to gain by telling me this – so I’m going with something is making me look like I have lost weight! Whoop! 

I so didn’t make the gym more but I went to a trampolining class twice which is amazing – so that will continue! I also tried the 30 day shred and again I haven’t done much of it – but I did do it a bit! I need to get back on it! 30 days of the same circuits type exercise is not that fun but I brought hand weights that are purple!!! 😂

Dates – hmmm I have made an effort to be on all these online websites but I’m not being funny the guys literally are horrendous! Or you message them as you have matched with them and they don’t reply, or they don’t want children or they are just bloody boring! I might be boring too but wow I just can’t be bothered to keep a convo going with someone I don’t know who I’m clearing not clicking with! I have to remember it is just month one of 2017! 

In terms of getting stronger and happier – I think so – these things take time and work is hard right now and family life hasn’t been fun with Friday the 13th striking again! But I’m positive for February! I have plans to be happier in all aspects of my life and if all this fails the new flooring I am meant to get this year won’t happen and I’ll book an adventure somewhere fabulous and then will be happy for sure! Shopping for new flooring was boring anyway!

My final goal for this year is to be sensible with money, get ready for my remortgage at the end of the year and be in the best position I can be in! Another hardship (is that the right word – probably not!) of being single – so much pressure on being an adult and having a mortgage on your own! Yes I am very fortune to own a house in the south east of England and to have been on the property ladder for 10 years, but when it’s just you paying all the bills and you get the massive loan it isn’t the easiest and my journey to buy this house, a few years ago was one Royal nightmare! But hey I won’t put anyone off trying to buy somewhere! It’s still fun when you get in and all the stuff you can do to it! 

In conclusion January was ok, February needs more effort & March is my birthday – so all will be fabulous! 

The back up plan

As my 37th birthday draws nearer so does my 38th – I’m sure you are thinking, what? Nothing like wishing your life away, but let me explain! 

When I was in my early 30’s and started this whole on-line dating journey, had dated for a while and realised it might not be simple – I started to think about whether or not children were important in my life! My sister has three now and I love them to pieces and as much as I am not the baby machine she is and definitely not the maternal person she is (she is a nanny by trade!) I came to the conclusion I’d like one! Just one as then I’m hoping it won’t bicker so much and to be fair with three real cousins and everyone else in my world pretty much having at least one child too – they should be fine! Also I want to know what it’s like to be pregnant and to obviously pass on some of me to future generations! Haha! To be fair my sisters children all have traits of me anyway – so that bit might already be covered! The thought of giving birth upsets me a lot though! 

Anyway a few years ago my friends who are gay were talking about there plans and what they will do when they are ready! They educated me into that you actually don’t need a guy to have a baby, you can actually buy sperm and basically choose your unborn babies dad and he wouldn’t have any stake on the child and you could do this by yourself if need be! It’s all very confusing when you look online – however it isn’t too expensive for one go! Clearly I have told my mum the plan and told her a loan or a payment for a grandchild might be required! 😀 Everyone’s up for it! 

Another back up would be to freeze my eggs for a few years until that guy comes along I suppose! My mum is currently away seeing my auntie and my cousin and apparently my cousin has frozen her eggs and my mum now thinks this is what I should do! My cousin has offered to explain all about it and give me advice on it! I’d just like to say my cousin is 4 years older than me and lives in LA – so a completely different country to me, so not sure this is completely helpful! Plus she should have just had a baby by now as she was married, but apparently her age for a child is 45! She has a new boyfriend – I wonder how she broached the subject with him to say she had her back up plan sorted?!

This is another thing how do you tell a guy you eventually meet that you froze your eggs – won’t that freaked them out as much as just telling them you are on a time limit and need to have a child now! It’s funny I presume boys don’t have back up plans for having children and just except that if they don’t have one – they don’t get one! Who knows! 

My other plan was to in my 40’s to maybe adopt a child – age range 0-5 – then it gets over the having to push out a child thing when you have IBS! I just can’t imagine it being normal! I can’t even deal with periods! Another thing – if I am to have a child next year – should I come off the pill I have been on for 15 years because I couldn’t cope with periods and IBS – can I put myself through that for a what if and do I need to do that just yet? Another thing to figure out! After a few conversations this week with friends about this – they have all said my body probably needs a break anyway and with all the gyne issues I had last year it could help! Again can you imagine if I met a guy this year and he asks are you on the pill and you say no because I wanted to give my body a break to be ready to have a baby next year! Well that’s one way of getting rid of them! Haha! 

So my conclusion is it doesn’t have to be next year – if I want one I will know but my friends get married in South Africa early 2018 and we’ll get through that first and then see! As for coming off the pill – I have 1 week left of a packet and need to decide asap if I want to stay in or come off! 

Sod being a woman! Why could I have met someone in my 20’s and got married, had a career, travelled, had fun and had a child! Oh well clearly wasn’t my path! 

The child thing

Being in my mid thirties you get to the point of thinking do I want a child and do I need to hurry up to have one? I do have a back up plan but online dating puts you under so much pressure and unfortunately in my story I have missed out on so many potentials! 

So I don’t start conversations with OMG I want a child and can you give me one (clearly not I don’t ever message anyone first!) but you do have on your profile normally that you want children! Men are more open I think about this and put open/not decided but I always put want children! Anyway at my age I sometimes end up talking to guys who have children already (I suppose it’s to be expected) and on several occasions you can be getting on really well and they will then say – oh I notice you want children – I have one (or two) and I don’t want anymore! Now seriously in my opinion (and it is my opinion) what woman doesn’t want the option at my age to maybe perhaps have a child! You might not think you want one but if you fell preggo, you would probably think twice about keeping it mainly because you are female, you have a woman’s maternal instinct and it’s the norm in life to have a child and because at this age you might not get another chance if you don’t take this one! 

Therefore I find men who have their own child quite selfish if they really think that you – the girl without a child would be happy to not have the option of having their own child, but is happy that you have children! I think you are kidding yourself! Would it not be better for those guys to go for either older ladies or women who already perhaps have had a child!? 

Now if you are a guy and you doesn’t have children and you have decided you don’t want a child – then fair enough – you would be in equal grounds! I obviously still wouldn’t go out with you because as I say I want the option! But I am sure there are females who have made the decision not to have children as well because they want a fun carefree life and because we all know (including my friends & family) children can be little pains in the arse if they want to be! 

So to the guy I have been speaking to this weekend who just told me he doesn’t want anymore kids – thanks for being up front and shame! At least it’s better than the guy I dated last year who dumped me because I wanted a child and then kept texting me all year telling me he liked me, but his views hadn’t changed on the kid front! Then why bother message mate! Clearly that didn’t work out and he so wasn’t my type anyway! What was I thinking!