Obviously everyone goes by the photos to start with and if they look quite nice you open the profile fully and take a read! Every profile set up is slightly different depending on what site you are on! One might give you a compatibility score with a guy, one might let you tell them everything about you in terms of height (obviously most important thing to women), marriage material, just want a f**k buddy, no details, linked to your Facebook or Instagram profiles etc. Etc. But what does the profile say about that elusive potential….
So there is the guy who wants a lover but not love = clearly a fancy way of saying they want a f**k buddy and could be married already or perhaps has been hurt in the past and just wants a no commitment thing for now! Commitment issues… 😬
Then there is the guy who is seperated! These poor guys could have been seperated for years for all I know but I instantly think; is he on the rebound or is it too early for him to be going out and meeting someone!
The guy who bangs on about looks not being important – sorry but surely that’s crap because the first thing you judge people on online is their photo! So for you to click further you need to go yep or nope to that person! Unless they look at every profile I suppose! Who knows!
The guy who puts no details about their job! What are you trying to hide!? Who cares what you do – I can select that you earn a certain amount if I really want anyway and then you will come up in my search! Yes yes it’s that fickle online! In a bar you wouldn’t ask someone how much money they earn before talking to them but on online you pretty much can! Although that goes back to my previous post when I guy was so eager to find out how much I earn’t – who cares!
The guy who says they come from the whole county! Is that not a bit weird! It instantly makes me think you live in a dodgy area and you are ashamed! Silly if you ask me! Plus counties are massive – Hampshire is like an hour drive to get to some places! Plus I live on the Berkshire, Surrey, Hampshire boarder – so giving me a county is redic!
The I’m not telling if I have a child – clearly you have one
The I’m not telling if I have a car – clearly you don’t, but you might have a bike! Just say if you don’t have one! Weird not too!
The only answer I think I get when people are a bit unsure is the kid thing and the marriage thing! No one wants to be too eager and not everyone knows if they want children and if it happens it happens especially as we all get so bloody old – who knows if we can have children or when we will meet someone if we will be really really bloody old and can’t have them by then! And marriage, well again you wouldn’t go up to a potential in a bar and go: “do you ever want to get married” might depend on the person or they just might not see the point! My parents have been married for over 45 years and I’m not sure I can be bothered to get married – what is the need really? A house is a commitment, children are commitment, but I would quite like a Pink diamond engagement ring! Mmmmm! Lol
Anyway it’s bloody difficult this perfect profile thing – maybe we (as in the online dating community) need to be more open minded on lots of profiles and just go with your gut on if that person seems like one you want to meet! To be fair you might start chatting to one and they end up being blah anyway (totally happened last week and he had such potential but bloody hell he asked no questions and didn’t do anything with his life! – bore) Boys can be a bit blah you know! Clearly it’s all them as I’m so funny, beautiful and amazing! Ha
Anyway back to the boy shopping! Ooooo I just got a message from an Adam…..
I get it it’s hard to start the ball rolling in any conversation but if you were in a pub and was talking to a girl would you start with: “I have really long foreskin – how do you feel about it?” If this situation happened – a) I’d hope I was very drunk and so was he and b) this so wouldn’t happen in a pub! So why does a guy online feel this is an appropriate opener!? Then he gets funny because I’m the most honest person in the world and I ask him (very politely) if he says this to all the girls and does he think this is appropriate! Anyway he blocked me! He also blocked me cause he insisted I got “kik” to message on! Urrmm I thought the whole point of online was that you had a platform to talk on before you gave out numbers! Why would I need kik as well! Clearly hiding something or he was embarrassed of being online! Anyway I don’t want kik!
Another guy messaged me to ask if I missed sex! Very kind of him to think about me but no need! He did do the hi how are you first but then asked me who I lived with! Weird! I’m 37 – I’d like to think most people (if they don’t live in London or perhaps if they have baggage) would live on their own by now or maybe I just want to go out with some one who does!
Another guy didn’t quite tell me this on an opening message but in a few exchanges after that his mum has cancer and she is dying! Wow why would you tell a stranger that! Is that not a bit too early! And far from romantic!
Clearly I am attracting the wrong guys or guys in my area are so weird it’s rediculous! It is funny though because there is always the bondage guy who pops up and looks at your profile! He is looking for a new lady who he can dominate! Funny he doesn’t actually show a picture of himself encase “work colleagues” see! hmmm I think it’s just because he is a Middle Aged fat bold guy who you really wouldn’t want to go near! Random!
Anyway back to it – who knows a nice one might come along or that random meet down the supermarket aisle is surely on the cards! 😂
In the past few weeks I think I have spoken to a lot of randoms! I felt I needed to document them as just to prove to the world I do try and meet guys but every random messages me!
In no particular order:
The guy who messaged with “Hey You’re a cutie!” I’m not being funny but I’m 37 on Friday! I’m far from being a 5 year old who is a cutie!
The same guy went on to make sexual comments and basically telling me we lived so close – he’ll get a bottle of wine and come over! Urmmm I haven’t met you on a date and we just said hello pretty much! He then blocked me! Weird
Another guy today asked me how much money I earned! I replied that I wasn’t sure if that was a question you should ask and he replied with “yeah it is – I earn xxx a year!. How much do you earn because I think I don’t earn enough!” So I earn double what he does and clearly I didn’t tell him but diplomatically pointed out it depends on industries etc! How is that an appropriate question to ask?
Then there was the guy who message me at 10.15am Saturday morning with “hey” or something like that! Then at 10.36am he messaged “aren’t you a chatter” Then he blocked me! Seriously I went out for the day and was busy – I didn’t realise my whole aim for Saturday was to message a random back!
Then there is just all the random messages like “You’re astonishingly good looking” (seriously) “Your beautiful, I could fall in love with your face” (Really?) Or “Wow your gorgeous!” I get they want to make a first impression but seriously how is that an opening line – a boring hello, how are you would be better in my book!
So anyway with the amazing chat up line and guys lined up – my 37th birthday will definitely be one where I am single and happy about it if that’s all that is available! 😂
Being in my mid thirties you get to the point of thinking do I want a child and do I need to hurry up to have one? I do have a back up plan but online dating puts you under so much pressure and unfortunately in my story I have missed out on so many potentials!
So I don’t start conversations with OMG I want a child and can you give me one (clearly not I don’t ever message anyone first!) but you do have on your profile normally that you want children! Men are more open I think about this and put open/not decided but I always put want children! Anyway at my age I sometimes end up talking to guys who have children already (I suppose it’s to be expected) and on several occasions you can be getting on really well and they will then say – oh I notice you want children – I have one (or two) and I don’t want anymore! Now seriously in my opinion (and it is my opinion) what woman doesn’t want the option at my age to maybe perhaps have a child! You might not think you want one but if you fell preggo, you would probably think twice about keeping it mainly because you are female, you have a woman’s maternal instinct and it’s the norm in life to have a child and because at this age you might not get another chance if you don’t take this one!
Therefore I find men who have their own child quite selfish if they really think that you – the girl without a child would be happy to not have the option of having their own child, but is happy that you have children! I think you are kidding yourself! Would it not be better for those guys to go for either older ladies or women who already perhaps have had a child!?
Now if you are a guy and you doesn’t have children and you have decided you don’t want a child – then fair enough – you would be in equal grounds! I obviously still wouldn’t go out with you because as I say I want the option! But I am sure there are females who have made the decision not to have children as well because they want a fun carefree life and because we all know (including my friends & family) children can be little pains in the arse if they want to be!
So to the guy I have been speaking to this weekend who just told me he doesn’t want anymore kids – thanks for being up front and shame! At least it’s better than the guy I dated last year who dumped me because I wanted a child and then kept texting me all year telling me he liked me, but his views hadn’t changed on the kid front! Then why bother message mate! Clearly that didn’t work out and he so wasn’t my type anyway! What was I thinking!