The back up plan

As my 37th birthday draws nearer so does my 38th – I’m sure you are thinking, what? Nothing like wishing your life away, but let me explain! 

When I was in my early 30’s and started this whole on-line dating journey, had dated for a while and realised it might not be simple – I started to think about whether or not children were important in my life! My sister has three now and I love them to pieces and as much as I am not the baby machine she is and definitely not the maternal person she is (she is a nanny by trade!) I came to the conclusion I’d like one! Just one as then I’m hoping it won’t bicker so much and to be fair with three real cousins and everyone else in my world pretty much having at least one child too – they should be fine! Also I want to know what it’s like to be pregnant and to obviously pass on some of me to future generations! Haha! To be fair my sisters children all have traits of me anyway – so that bit might already be covered! The thought of giving birth upsets me a lot though! 

Anyway a few years ago my friends who are gay were talking about there plans and what they will do when they are ready! They educated me into that you actually don’t need a guy to have a baby, you can actually buy sperm and basically choose your unborn babies dad and he wouldn’t have any stake on the child and you could do this by yourself if need be! It’s all very confusing when you look online – however it isn’t too expensive for one go! Clearly I have told my mum the plan and told her a loan or a payment for a grandchild might be required! ๐Ÿ˜€ Everyone’s up for it! 

Another back up would be to freeze my eggs for a few years until that guy comes along I suppose! My mum is currently away seeing my auntie and my cousin and apparently my cousin has frozen her eggs and my mum now thinks this is what I should do! My cousin has offered to explain all about it and give me advice on it! I’d just like to say my cousin is 4 years older than me and lives in LA – so a completely different country to me, so not sure this is completely helpful! Plus she should have just had a baby by now as she was married, but apparently her age for a child is 45! She has a new boyfriend – I wonder how she broached the subject with him to say she had her back up plan sorted?!

This is another thing how do you tell a guy you eventually meet that you froze your eggs – won’t that freaked them out as much as just telling them you are on a time limit and need to have a child now! It’s funny I presume boys don’t have back up plans for having children and just except that if they don’t have one – they don’t get one! Who knows! 

My other plan was to in my 40’s to maybe adopt a child – age range 0-5 – then it gets over the having to push out a child thing when you have IBS! I just can’t imagine it being normal! I can’t even deal with periods! Another thing – if I am to have a child next year – should I come off the pill I have been on for 15 years because I couldn’t cope with periods and IBS – can I put myself through that for a what if and do I need to do that just yet? Another thing to figure out! After a few conversations this week with friends about this – they have all said my body probably needs a break anyway and with all the gyne issues I had last year it could help! Again can you imagine if I met a guy this year and he asks are you on the pill and you say no because I wanted to give my body a break to be ready to have a baby next year! Well that’s one way of getting rid of them! Haha! 

So my conclusion is it doesn’t have to be next year – if I want one I will know but my friends get married in South Africa early 2018 and we’ll get through that first and then see! As for coming off the pill – I have 1 week left of a packet and need to decide asap if I want to stay in or come off! 

Sod being a woman! Why could I have met someone in my 20’s and got married, had a career, travelled, had fun and had a child! Oh well clearly wasn’t my path! 

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6 thoughts on “The back up plan

  1. Live During Life

    I have thought of several back up plans as well. I guess the main thing is making sure that God is leading you to make the decision. The ideal situation would be our future husbands coming tomorrow. Good luck!

    Reply
  2. Laura

    Great blog Lis, so many options! It’s great that your friends have that wedding next year so that’s your end point, you have until then to make a decision on what you’d like to start ๐Ÿ˜Š You’ll make a great mother, looking forward to hearing more about this journey!

    Reply
  3. getadatein2016

    Ah the kid conundrum. As someone with little to no interest in having them, it actually makes dating hard because, let’s face it, 95% of women want kids! It’s great that you have these options available to you though. Who needs men! ๐Ÿ˜

    Reply
    1. Single Girl in the suburbs Post author

      Haha! Very true – would probably be easier if there was a guy to help financially at least but hey! Funny the younger versions of ourselves wouldn’t have even thought of kids whether we wanted them or not! But hey! Thanks for your comment!

      Reply

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